Issue #4: How Did You Discover Matrescence?
How did you discover Matrescence?
From Hayley x
Hi Hayley,
You guys are killing it with the questions. I am loving it when I get a little ding notification 🔔 letting me know another question has come in. I will never get tired of that sounds so keep the questions coming.
How did I discover matrescence?
Well I am a huge believer in the 🪐 universe and the universe sending us signs. I'm a believer that if you don't pick up on the first sign the universe 🪐 will keep tapping you on the shoulder until you take notice. That is exactly how I discovered matrescence. It was back in the year of covid, 2020.
At the time I was a single mum with 2 kids 👩👧👦 I was still working in the system as a midwife, but I had started to make the moves to go out and offer private midwifery work. But that is not achievable overnight. It takes lots of pivots, new learnings and a new degree and lots of paperwork to fill out.
Because I was casually employed in the system and it was peak covid and lockdown in Melbourne, I was now facing a time of no work due to casual work drying up because of the covid crisis. So I had a choice to make. The government was offering the option to access our super in 🇦🇺 Australia.
I made the decision to access $10,000 of my super and I decided to invest in myself.
I took that $10,000 and I enrolled myself in a number of courses. I become a Certified Baby-Led Sleep Consultant from Isla Grace. A Innate Traditions Practitioner from Rachelle Garcia Seliga and Birth Story Medicine Listener by Pam England.
My 💭 thinking was, that I was done working in the system and I could not bite my 👅 tongue anymore, plus I couldn't be the kind of mother I wanted to be within the limitations of the system and I wasn't quite sure how offering private midwifery services was going to pan out.
I thought it's time to invest in myself.
I'm going to do a variety of courses that speak to me, I'm going to learn new skills and I'm going to see where I land.
Whilst I was completing my studies with Baby-Led Sleep Certification with Isla Grace, there was a segment on motherhood and within that there was a video from a Tedtalk by Alexandra Sacks; titled 'A new way to think about the transition to motherhood'. In that Ted Talk Alexandra Sacks was discussing the term matrescence. I found it interesting to watch but it didn't really 💥 spark my interest at that point. First tap on my shoulder from the universe 🪐
Then when I was doing my Innate Postpartum Traditions course by Rachelle Garcia Seliga she mentioned and discussed the term matrescence a number of times. Again, I took note and folded it away and went oh yeah that's what we discussed in the Baby-Led Sleep course. Again it didn't really 💥 spark my interest. It was more of a mental note that I've now heard the word twice and it talks about motherhood, the transition to motherhood and again I let it slip through the gates and continued on my way. Second tap on my shoulder from the universe 🪐
Then a friend of mine sent me a DM on Instagram, saying you should check this 📗 book out I think you would really love 🧡 it. It was a book called Mama Rising by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. I went to Amy's Instagram page had a look at her book. Sussed it further on Amazon and then visited her 🖥 website. On her website it was all about matrescence and that she had her Mama Rising course taking enrollments. As soon as I saw her course I hit that ❎ and closed that window 🪟 down stat! No more courses for me. I am full. My internal dialogue was back away Kate, back away, exit, do not look, your plate is FULL of courses, covid, and kids. Third shoulder tap from the universe. Yep! I'm still not listening 🙉
About a week or so later I was 🚙 driving the kids to childcare, and yes I could access childcare at the at the time because I was considered an essential worker and I had actually been redeployed within the hospital by this stage. So I was 🚙 driving the kids to childcare and then on my way to work. As I started to drive I thought I'll put on a 🎙 podcast. I went to Julia Jones Newborn Mother's podcast and I saw that there was a podcast that I had started listening 🎧 to and I was about 5 minutes into it and decided I'll keep listening to this one not realising who the guest was and what they were talking about. Nothing! Just hit play ▶️
I think the universe 🪐 was really getting the shits with me by this stage. Talk about slap in the face. The podcast was Julia Jones talking with 🥁🥁🥁 you guessed it. It was Amy Taylor-Kabbaz talking about matrescence and talking about her upcoming course where she teaches women and mums to become matrescence facilitators.
That was it! I was done!
Finally the universe 🪐 had knocked me over the head enough for me to 👂 listen and I was like ok I'm taking note. I'm going to listen. When I got to childcare I pulled up in the car park and went straight to my 📱 phone and logged on to Amy Taylor-Kabbaz's website. The universe 🪐 needed to slap me and slap me hard because the enrolment for her course was ending the next day!
There I am, in the car park with the engine still running, kids still in their car seats, and I am enrolling into Amy's course. Officially $10k gone now!
At this point I still didn't fully understand matrescence, and what on earth 🌏 is a matrescence facilitator? 🤷♀️ I didn't even read 🤓 anything about the course. What it entailed. Nothing, I hit sign up now and that was it.
I trusted in the universe 🪐 that I needed to be in this course and I needed to know more about it and that it was going to impact my life. I can now say that the universe 🪐 was definitely waving that flag 🚩 right in front of me multiple times to the point of knocking me over with it for a reason and a purpose.
I 100% x 100% needed to know about matrescence.
The universe 🪐 knew I needed to know, because I felt broken. I felt lost. I felt shame that I couldn't keep my marriage together. I felt guilty I had let my children down. I felt alone. I thought I was the only one going through this. I had no words to describe what I was going through.....until I discovered matrescence. 🙌
I fell in love 💓 with what matrescence and my teachers taught me and what self-awareness and freedom it has enriched me with. I wanted to know more and I wanted to help women and mums more so they didn't have to feel broken, lost, shame, guilt, or alone anymore. I furthered my studies and have been continuously learning from Amy and Dr. Sophie Brock since 2021. Dr. Sophie Brock explores the sociological dimensions of motherhood during this year I will become a Certified Motherhood Studies Practitioner.
Discovering matrescence taught me about the transition to motherhood on a deep level and provided me with an understanding and a dialogue I needed desperately as I transitioned to a mother of one and then a mother of two. One of the biggest eye openers for me was learning that I lived in a patriarchy, and a patriarchy that is not made to support women and mothers.
I learnt that I was not broken.
I learnt that my burnout was not because I did anything wrong.
I learnt my marriage breakdown was massively impacted by my husband and I living in the patriarchy and by the expectations of society, and I didn't suck ass at being a wife....well maybe in some parts I did.
And finally, the weight being lifted off my shoulders when I heard the word matrescence and when I heard that “you are going through something and it is big and it is hard and you are not broken and you will get through it”.
Discovering matrescence and the wisdom of Amy Taylor-Kabbaz, Dr. Sophie Brock, Alexandra Sacks, Aurelie Athan, Nikki McCahon and Dr. Oscar Serrallach (just to name a few) has been the most 👀 eye opening experience and has impacted not only me, but my husband, my marriage, my family life, my kids, the way I work, the way I am as a midwife, how I want to proceed in my business and what I want to bring together. Women and Mothers in community and connection.
I am so grateful that the universe 🪐 did not give up on me and kept representing and representing and representing and getting louder and louder until I finally listened. It has taken me on a path that I am so happy to be on. The wisdom, the awareness, the freedom, the women I've met and the communities I'm a part of. These communities span the globe and since being apart of theses communities I have felt supported, seen, valued, heard and not alone or isolated. Which is how I felt when my marriage broke down and I was in complete burnout. It's amazing that the one little term matrescence has enriched my life so much. If this is your waving flag 🚩 from the universe 🪐 reading this to learn about matrescence, take it. Acknowledge that ⚠️ sign, dig deeper and discover that you are not broken. You are going through something. It is big. It is hard. You will get through it and you are not alone.
Love Kate 💚